Picture this if you will; You’re in a public place. A restaurant. You need to use the bathroom, so you excuse yourself from the table and make your way over.

It’s busy, so you’re waiting in line. Eventually it’s your turn so you get in, do you thang, and meander to one of the four provided sinks to wash your hands.

Huh, that’s odd.

The toilets are full, there’s a line of people waiting… and yet – You’re the only one washing your hands.

You shrug. Perhaps they’re more efficient than you.

But you, the upstanding moral hygiene of society are singing happy birthday, twice, in your head so you have plenty of time to observe the neighbouring sinks.

One, maybe two people join you. Run tepid water over their hands and rush out the door.

The rest don't even bother.

We’ve gone through a global pandemic and people still can’t wash their fucking hands.

Anguished, you finish your thorough scrubbing.

Good on you, model citizen – You destroyed 99.9% of germs off of your meathooks and as reward, you’re presented with this:

Picture of a filthy door handle labeled “pull”.

Congrats. Your hands are now dirtier than when they started. What the hell was the point?

Is hand-washing just performative theater, a signal to our peers of our perceived superior cleanliness?

No?

Then why make us push through literal piss, shit and God knows what else to get back to whatever it is we were doing?

Now I know, I know. You're probably thinking something like “But Josh, it's not their fault. These places have to adhere to building codes that are there to ensure safety!” and you'd be right.

Typically, internal doors with a single exit must open inward to prevent external obstructions from blocking those inside from exiting.

As well, opening a door into a hallway can be a great time for the person inevitably concussed on the other side.

I get it - I do.